Tuesday, October 15, 2002

Reason for my recent absence? FLAT PACK FURNITURE
Spent three days trying to decipher the hieroglyphics that came with the damn stuff.
Found that screws {x} did not fit in ready drilled holes {y}
The number of little fiddly bits, should be 7, was exceeded by a factor of 3.
This threw me a bit , after deciding the lid of the box should NOT be on the bottom I turned the instruction sheet upside down.
Putting it in the correct place would mean the drawers would open verticaly and the back would have to go on the front.
Gave up and started again with own materials to assist and binned the instructions.

All went well until I had to do some sawing.
Having no bench i decided to use the kitchen table and the electric jigsaw.Cutting the first piece of wood was easy enough.
The second of the same thickness was really tough going. Could not understand why , then I realised I was also cutting through the kitchen table.
Mrs.Flat was not amused.

Colour of my own wood did not match that of the accursed flat pack rubbish.
Got white gloss all over the carpet trying to correct the problem.

I now have a nice new chest of drawers , which looks quite reasonable.
Unfortunately we now require a new kitchen table and a new carpet.
Assigned to the dog house by Mrs.Flat. Told her I shall have to make one,no dog, hence no doghouse.
Do they do flat pack dog houses?

May your furniture never be flat pack.

Sunday, October 13, 2002

flatman out of touch but will be back monday.
stay flat